Sacrificing for a Social Life

Last April I moved to the city of Melton. I am able to rent a very nice three bedroom house here. It has a large study where I read, and write articles for my blog. It has a large backyard that is greatly enjoyed by my cat aussie. It is in a quiet rural area that is not too close to the city. And the rent on this house is very low. I am absolutely thrilled with the house itself. But I would move tomorrow if I had the opportunity!

The problem is not the house that I live in, but the place where I live. Don’t get me wrong Melton is a beautiful place to live. But it is far away from the larger growing communities of Melbourne. It is also far away from the places I am currently ministering. This means I spend a lot of time driving (It takes about forty minutes to get to anywhere). It also means I have to spend a lot of money on fuel for my car.

Because I live so far away there is a temptation to only leave Melton when I absolutely have to. After all, why drive for an hour or an hour and half just so I can drink coffee and talk? Instead I could just stay home and save a lot of money on gas. But the money that I save will not fill the longing for acceptance in my heart.

God created us to be relational beings. There is a part of us that can only be filled by contact with other people. That is why before the fall of man God looked upon Adam’s being alone and saw it as something that was not good. To live in a state of isolation is to live a life that is unnatural. But many of us have a social life that is virtually non existent. There are many reasons for this. But probably one of the greatest is that having a strong social life (connecting with lots of friends) takes sacrifice.

Connecting with friends in true community during the week does take sacrifice. It takes a sacrifice of time, energy, money, and many times our own plans. So we decide the price is just too high and promise to spend more time with friends in the future. The result of this is a culture of busy people who are desperately lonely. “George Gallup has said, ‘Americans are among the loneliest people in the world’ In the midst of busy lives, overcommitted schedules, and congested cities, we feel alone.”1

Lately I have only been driving far from Melton when I absolutely had to. That would be on Wednesdays, Sundays, and every other Thursday. I have been praying that God would give me opportunities to connect with other people. But then I realized that he wanted me to take the initiative of connecting with others. The best way to do that is move into a house closer to the city. I will not be able to do that until probably early 2009. So Monday morning I made out a plan that involves leaving Melton five times a week regularly instead of two to three. I am also in the process of working out a sixth opportunity.

I am the kind of person who likes to save money each month for future expenses. Now I will have to spend some of that future expense money on fuel. It also means I will spend a lot more time on the road. But those sacrifices are nothing when compared to the close relationships I will have.

1. Andy Stanley, Creating Community, pg.22, par.2, ln. 1