We Can Do More Than Just Survive

Evaluation is a very good thing in life. But sometimes we may be evaluating ourselves with a standard that is far too low so that it is easier to achieve our goals. I was thinking about that truth this morning because one of my goals during my six month furlough is growth. Part of this involves looking at what I did well during the first term of service in Australia. And more importantly it means finding what I could do better.

An important part of evaluation is to have a standard which you measure yourself with. A standard can be made up of things like Scripture passages, Bible Characters, family members, friends, or mentors. From time to time we will then check how we measure up to those standards. If there is room for improvement then it will motivate us to put forth more effort. And if we are currently living up to the standards set then there is little need for growth.

But what if our standards are set too low? Is it possible to live our whole lives trying to accomplish certain things only to find later that we should have accomplished more? What triggered these thoughts was a three and a half mile run I had with my brother Michael (age 29) and a good friend Glenn (age 24).

Both I and my brother were not in the best of shape. So it was slightly encouraging when we finished averaging a ten minute eighteen second mile. Running a ten minute mile is a good average, especially for someone who is out of shape. Glenn on the other hand ran a nine minute eighteen second mile which is of course one minute faster than the rest of us.

What makes this feat more incredible is the fact that for the first half of our run Glenn was right with me and Michael. This means he ran the second half at least one minute faster than the first. Imagine what he could have done running the entire three and a half miles at that speed!

Glenn had very a very different goal (standard) than the rest of us. Our goal was to simply survive the run without collapsing. He had the goal of running a very fast time and beating what he had done in the past. Now having making my standard survival is just fine when we are talking about running for more than three miles. But what if simply surviving becomes my goal for other areas of my life?

Let’s say that I make this the standard by which my ministry in Australia is evaluated. If my goal is simply maintain status quo will there be any growth? Doing what everyone else is doing isn’t always a deep sin, but it is if I could do more. If I am settling on just surviving instead of running ahead then according to Scripture I am in sin.

This doesn’t mean I travel to the other extreme and become a spastic individual who acts without thinking. Instead it means that I am very careful to do more than the status quo whenever possible. And maybe set my standards a bit higher as time passes. It is necessary to do this because of all God has done for us. And many times we can do much more than just survive.

Is it always the Teens Fault?

How do you motivate teenagers? That is a very hard question to answer, and it is very possible that there is no one way to answer it. Yet as an individual who works with youth I feel it is an important subject to discuss.

Yesterday I began by looking briefly at the two different methods of motivating young people in the Church today. The first is basically to demand that they do whatever Scripture says without any discussion. The second challenges us to love them and earn their respect. In time the respect will cause them to obey our teaching.

Both of these methods are a bit flawed in my personal opinion. The first is much better because Scripture is used prominently, but it lacks love or grace. The other uses huge amounts of love with little Scripture or confrontation. It is important that we find a view of motivation which combines the best of both methods.

Before we begin talking about that though there is one very important truth to get across. That being, it isn’t always the teens fault. In other words, if there is a problem motivating individuals, all of the blame usually can’t be placed upon those youth.

Now granted there are some young people in youth groups who honestly don’t care about God at all. But most of the time there aren’t any overly rebellious kids. And since all of the blame usually shouldn’t be placed upon them, where should it go? That’s right, on the people who teach them.

One of the most powerful influences on a teenagers life is our expectations of them. These are the things that we expect them to do (bring a Bible to Church on Wednesday night, don’t use the Lords name in vain). If we place very high expectations upon them then they will rise to meet those requirements. But if we set very low ones the youth will meet those as well.

One thing I have noticed over the years in my ministry is that I many times have placed too low expectations on the youth I work with. It comes from the idea that teens are always going to be immature and unable to live up to high standards before graduating from High School. This philosophy is discussed thoroughly (and proven wrong) in the book “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris.

When we place low expectations on youth then that makes us part of the problem. This is illustrated by a story told by Pastor Andy Stanley at a leadership conference. He was talking about having a problem getting his two sons to take the trash bins back to the house on trash days.

His house was at the top of a hill so going down to get the bins and bringing them back up became a task that Mr. Stanley’s sons obviously didn’t look forward to. So on trash days it became a weekly ritual for Andy to tell his sons four times that the needed to go get the trash bins.

He recounts coming home one day to find the bins had not been taken in and becoming angry. But then he realized that he was partly to blame for what had happened. Every week this pastor would tell his sons four times to get the trash before actually getting serious enough to threaten them with discipline. By doing this he basically trained his sons to believe that Dad really didn’t mean it until he says get the trash bins for the fourth time.

Realizing he had had placed low expectations on his sons Stanley decided to do things differently. He took both of the bins up by himself without saying anything to his sons. One of them saw him doing this and asked why he had decided to complete their job. “No reason it just needed to be done” he replied. He then said, “oh by the way, I get your allowance this week”. He never had a problem with their not taking in the trash bin again.

It is true that some of the motivation problems are the result of immaturity or rebellion in the hearts of young people. But perhaps it is necessary to take a long hard look at ourselves before pointing an accusing finger at them.

How do you motivate a Teenager?

I love working with teenagers, and have loved it ever since I started doing so during College. Last week I spent an afternoon playing ultimate Frisbee with thirteen missionaries kids and having the time of my life. There are quite a few different reasons why I enjoy ministering to teens.

For one thing they are full of energy and excitement which can be contagious. I honestly act differently around teenagers than I do with adults. This is in no way disrespecting adults, instead being around loud outgoing youth seems to make me the same way. Spending time with them is also an amazing way to learn more about the way teens think and live. Most of what I know about youth culture comes from just listening to what they say.

I could go on listing reasons why I love working with young people but this isn’t about that. Today my mind is focused on what I dread about youth ministry. That is motivating those energetic outgoing kids to grow in Christ. Now first of all let me say that a huge number of teenagers who I work with are living for the Lord. But a lot of times this only comes after trying very hard to motivate them.

For some reason it is very hard to get teens interested in spiritual things. Some believe that this is because the younger generation holds to what is called the “buy in principle”. In other words they will not become actively involved in anything until it has been proven to work. So maybe these youth are just thinking about or testing what it means to live for God. But that still doesn’t make it any easier to motivate them.

Adding to this problem is the fact that there doesn’t seem to be many proven methods to motivate them. Basically there are two options. One is to tell challenge them strongly from Scripture, the other is to earn their respect through love. Given the choice of these two philosophies I will choose the strong challenge but even that doesn’t seem to work all of the time.

My issue with the challenge method is that many times it becomes unloving and lacks patience. Lets say for instance that you wanted to develop the habit of having daily devotions in a Church youth group. Some taking the challenge method would demand that the teenagers start having devotions every day. Can you see where there is no love seen in discussion, explanation of why it is important to have devotions, or encouragement here? Now for some youth groups that refuse to do anything over time you would need to be faced with this strong confrontational style. But part of me wonders if this is what we should use at the very beginning.

The second method in my mind is worse than the first because it uses little Scripture. The foundational point of this philosophy is getting the teens to like you so that they will obey whatever is said in the lesson. Now I by no means have a problem with earning the respect of young people. As a matter of fact I believe that this is absolutely essential if you are going to have a strong ministry.

My problem is the fact that love isn’t as good of a motivator as Scripture. And from experience I can testify to the fact that just because youth like you, doesn’t mean they will obey the truths of Scripture. I guess there has to be a balanced method of motivation which combines the truth of a challenging philosophy with the love and grace of a respect philosophy. The problem is very few of us know what that looks like.