Hope For a Broken Heart

About a week ago I had one of those days that leave you beat up emotionally. I faced three very stressful situations that day. The problem was not that I didn't what to do. I clearly understood how God wanted me to respond to each of those situations. The problem was that I didn't want to do God's Will. For about a month I had been ministering to a youth group at a local church in the area. Over the six weeks that I worked with them we developed close relationships with one another. But because of some situations on the field I felt God wanted me to stop working with them on Wednesday nights.

So on a Thursday morning I called the pastor on his cell phone and on the verge of tears told him that I would not be teaching the youth any more. The pain that I felt after speaking with him was excruciating. The night before I had connected with those teens like never before. I had earned their respect along with their friendship. And now God wanted me to step out of that ministry. I felt terrible for the rest of the day. It was not that I questioned whether or not God wanted me to move on in ministry, that was clear to me. But it did not stop the pain in my heart.

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to teach a sunday school lesson at the local church where I am presently ministering. I taught on the life of Abraham, specifically his willingness to sacrifice Isaac on an altar. I wondered how he could possibly have the strength and faith to willingly sacrifice the most precious thing in his life. But then I noticed that was not the only time God called Abraham to sacrifice something precious. He was commanded to give up many things that were precious to him. He was commanded to give up his family and friends so that God could bring him to the promised land. He was commanded to give Lot the best of the land that was given to him by God. He gave up the incredible riches offered to him by the king of Sodom and Gomorrah after rescuing him from captivity. He was asked to give up his own plan of bringing God's blessing upon Ishmael. Every one of those sacrifices must have been painful, but they were necessary. For those sacrifices were used by God to prepare Abraham for a special work. He would never have been able to obey the command of God to sacrifice his son if he had not already walked the road of sacrifice.

Last Wednesday night was very hard for me because I wanted to be with the teenagers who I had been teaching. I truly believe that God will allow me to continue ministering to them at a later time. But I understand that God is using this situation to make me stronger. And that every time I willingly give up something precious to me I am making myself like Christ. That truth gives me comfort even if my heart is broken.

A Dream Becomes A Reality

“Bringing those in need to a place of spiritual maturity through separation from the control of the flesh as a result of Biblical teaching (Ephesians 4:22), submission to the control of God through a daily relationship with his word (Ephesians 4:23), and preparation for service with personal discipleship (Ephesians 4:24)”

What you see is a copy of my personal mission statement. A mission statement is a focused paragraph that describes in detail the calling of God upon your life. I developed mine over the course of a few weeks through prayer and reading Scripture along with books on how to develop a mission statement. I knew that God had a specific work for me to do. And I wanted to focus all of my attention on that one specific work.

The mission statement flows out of a burden that God has placed upon my heart for discipleship. Since College I have felt God calling me to help those in need become spiritually mature. As I prayed about this burden God had placed on my heart a three step plan for discipleship began to form in my mind. Step one was to help those in need overcome the temptation to always do things their own way. This will be accomplished through Biblical preaching and teaching. Step two is to help them submit to doing life Gods way. This is done through personal discipleship. Step three is to prepare them for the work of God for their lives. This is done through intense teaching and mentorship.

When I flew to Australia in January I prayed that God would allow me to become involved in his mission for my life. But being involved in a ministry that involved teaching, discipleship, and mentoring seemed like a dream. Today four months later I am involved in all three ministries. On Monday nights I am using college level material to teach a man who feels called to full time missions work This Wednesday afternoon I will begin discipling a young man who approached me about helping him. And Wednesday night I will continue teaching the youth group at a local baptist church. In less than four months God took what was only a dream in my heart, and made it a reality.

Iron Sharpening Iron

April 24 was a strange day for me. At 11:00 that morning I was struggling with strong emotions. One part of me was extremely happy, while the other was depressed. There is a good reason for my emotional roller coaster. On April 24 I said goodbye to a good friend Ken Rathbun. Ken came to teach in March for short term missions work. He taught a class at the Bible College, spoke at a few churches, and was the speaker at a singles retreat in late April. God used him in those ministry opportunities. And he was used by God to make a deep impact upon my life. Not through a sermon or lesson, but through his friendship.

In late March I moved into a three bedroom house. Ken helped me move in and lived there until he left in April. During April we bonded while watching DVDs that I had of American Television shows. But he also began to minister to me as we watched those DVDs. I am a fairly passive laid back person by nature. I very rarely demand things from people or become aggressive in any way. My laid back personality also lends itself to an “I’ll do it tomorrow” attitude. It is not that I am lazy and don’t want to work. It is just that I don’t like stressful situations. So anything that involved a lot of stress I would postpone.


Ken slowly showed me that attitude was hurting my ministry. Avoiding a stressful situation would only make matters worse. The best thing to do is face that situation head on and pray to God for strength. Missions work is filled with one crisis after another and by God’s grace I am supposed to face each one with confidence.


We had a lot of conversations about stressful situations we were dealing with, and how we could face those situations with confidence. As April came to a close I could see a change in the way I acted. When given a choice between one of two things I would actually choose one of the options instead of giving my usual, “whatever you want is fine”. But more importantly I was no longer running scared from stressful situations. I was thinking through them, praying over them, and developing a plan of action.


When I left the airport on April 28 I had a very hard decision to make. This decision would directly affect not only ministry, but the ministry of those around me. My first thought when faced with this decision was to do nothing. But my time with Ken taught me that would not be the right thing to do. I had already made my decision when I left the airport that morning, but I was scared to death about sharing it with others that night. But I did and God blessed the situation because I was honest about my decision. I thank God for Ken’s influence on my life, and for teaching me that sometimes it is okay to be aggressive.