Two Thanksgiving Feasts

Most of us have fond memories of thanksgiving. And of course I am no different. There are many things I am used to experiencing during the thanksgiving season. Like seeing my aunts and uncles and cousins for the weekend. Eating massive amounts of food. Playing a game of phase ten with my family. And of course getting up at 4:00 in the morning to go shopping the day after thanksgiving!

One of the things that I worried about was what would happen during this thanksgiving. Being thousands of miles away from family can be kind of hard during the holidays. I expected to be depressed or discouraged last Thursday and Friday.

I talked to my parents and relatives for an hour on Thursday (Wednesday night in the states). It really. helped to hear their voices over the skype internet program I have on my computer. And because of my webcam we were actually able to see each other while talking! Later that afternoon I put up my Christmas tree and did some work around the house. At no time in that entire day did I become emotional or depressed about not being be with family for the holidays. I was actually surprised at how calm I was.

The next morning I got out of bed just in time to watch the last ten minutes of the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions football game (it was 3:00 Thursday afternoon in the U.S.). At about 8:30 I talked to my parents and relatives again for an hour. And then I was left by myself on Thanksgiving day thousands of miles away from my family.

I had been invited by two different families to have thanksgiving dinner with them last Friday, but I declined. I did this to see what it would be like to experience thanksgiving alone. Would I be filled with sadness and homesickness? Or would my heart be filled with joy that comes from God? I did not try to escape or “medicate” any kind of painful feelings that facing thanksgiving alone would bring. Instead I purposely decided to stay at home Friday.

At 12:30 I turned off the football and walked into my kitchen. For the next two hours I read from books that I am currently working through in order to strengthen my ministry. The truths in those books along with God’s Word encouraged, comforted, and challenged me. They were a spiritual feast for my heart that needed strength in that time. As I studied God placed within my heart an incredible peace. And that peace became stronger as I thought about what God was teaching me later that day.

At 7:00 Friday night I sat down to wonderful thanksgiving meal. There was a juicy t-bone steak that I had cooked on my own grill. Extra crispy French fries (one of my guilty pleasures), along with fresh bread. And for desert I had Tim Tams which are Australian cookies dipped in chocolate. Add coke with a cup of coffee and you have a meal fit for a king! But that physical feast was nothing compared to the spiritual feast that I experienced earlier that day. And though a juicy steak and well done French fries makes for good eating. It can never compare to the peace that can only come from God.

I thank God for the peace that he placed in my heart over the thanksgiving season. But more importantly I am thankful for the opportunity to come before him in a time of need and feast upon his truth.

What the Whole World Craves

We are called by God to be lights in a world of darkness (Matthew 5:14). Being a light means to connect with the unsaved and transform their lives through the power of the gospel. As we become involved in the calling of God upon our lives, he will fill our acceptance cravings with his unconditional love. And that love will definitely give us more satisfaction and fulfillment than romance, money, or things.

But we should not just be a light to the world so God will fulfill our cravings for acceptance. We should do it because there are unsaved people all around us who hunger for love, acceptance, and healing. And they are trying desperately to fill their hunger with everything that the world has to offer. Only to find that none of those things bring happiness.

Meanwhile we have the one true cure for acceptance cravings. That is the unconditional love of God that comes as a result of Salvation. After receiving Christ as our Savior we are accepted by God with a love that overwhelms the imagination (Ephesians 3:19). This is an unconditional love that will forgive us whenever we fail. And a grace that will accept us even though we don’t deserve it. Yes God will judge us if we continue to sin. But this judgment is God’s way of bringing us back to the place where we can be blessed.

This love that we experience in our hearts is what the entire world hungers for. The love of Christ can put a stop to abuse, suicide, drug addiction, murder, and many other acts of violence. For many of those violent acts are attempts to find a release from the emotional pain a person is experiencing. Most acts of rebellion and sinfulness towards God would also be stopped if those individuals experienced Christ’s love.

But sadly few unbelievers have experienced the love of Christ through us. What is even more frightening is the fact that some churches actually try to get as far away from the world as possible. Now it is true that Christ does not want us to live like the world. But neither does he want us to hide our light (Matthew 5:15). How can we be a light to the world if we isolate ourselves from it?

Being different from the world but actively involved in it is not an easy thing to do. But God has not called me to isolate myself from the world. Instead he challenges me to, “take the light and jam it down the throat of darkness.1” I am honestly not sure how God wants me to be a light for him in the city of Melton. But with his help I am beginning to look for ways that I can become involved in the lives of the unsaved here. Opportunities to share with them the love of Christ, and the good news of God’s Word.

I hold in my heart the cure for much of the emotional pain that is experienced in this world. And it is a selfish for me to keep that cure locked up inside of me and not give it to those who are hurting. May God give me strength to share my story in a spirit of humility. And may God’s amazing love begin to impact the lives of others because of one brightly shining candle.

1 Organic Church, Neil Cole, pg.15, par.1, ln.1

Rooted and Grounded in Love

I have recently been reading the book “Created for His Glory” by Jim Berg. In this study of Ephesians Mr. Berg focuses on the blessings that we have in Christ. Last week as I read his book, one phrase of Scripture stuck in my mind. Since then I have not been able to stop thinking about that phrase.

In Ephesians 3:14-21 we find a prayer of the Apostle Paul for the church that was in Ephesus. Paul begins by praying that God would give them strength that could only come from the Holy Spirit (3:16). H also prayed that Christ would dwell, or have control over their lives (3:17). But then he ended verse seventeen by praying that they would be, “rooted and grounded in love.”

Community is one tool used by God to fulfill our acceptance cravings or longings for happiness. But another is ministering to the needs of others in love. This goes totally against the philosophy of our post modern culture. The natural response is to take our needs and make them the focus of our lives. But are we being “rooted and grounded in love” when we do this? Of course not!

The only way we can be “rooted and grounded in love” is by putting the needs of others above our own. In other words, when you see someone who is in need, help them. There are people all around us today who are struggling. And though we can’t meet all of their needs a kind word or encouraging letter can do a world of good.

A few Saturdays ago I was cleaning house when my phone rang. It was one of the pastors at the church that I attend regularly. He called to ask if I wanted to go get a coffee somewhere. I told him that would be fine and asked where we needed to meet. He then told me that he was at a McDonalds less than four miles from my house.

Now you must understand that this pastor lived at least forty five minutes from me. And he had much better things to do on a Saturday than drive to Melton and have a coffee! But that did not stop him from taking the time to do it. I was absolutely floored by his act of kindness, and we had a wonderful time of fellowship that morning.

It is not easy to focus on the needs of others. Especially since we have so many needs of our own! But taking a moment out of the day to meet the needs of others will allow us to be “rooted and grounded in love.” And that random act of kindness or encouraging word will be used by God.

Handing In My Man Card

There are certain things in this day and age that men are just not comfortable doing. These things have been compiled into a list that, although unspoken, are taken with the utmost seriousness. Any man caught doing one of the things on that list will condemn himself to weeks and months of ridicule by his friends. Men jokingly say that repeated infractions will result in you handing in your “man card”.

Some of the items on this list are as follows. Real men don't use the word cute in any conversations. Real men don't watch chick flick movies by themselves. Real men don't ask for directions. Real men don't use scented hand lotion. Real men do not purchase or burn candles. As important as the other rules are there is one which is enforced more forcefully than any other. Real men don't talk about their feelings.

I am not sure why this rule was put on the list. Maybe it is because all of our heroes on television or the movies never talked about their feelings. They don't even ask anyone for help, much less share their emotions. I mean you never see Rambo talking about his self esteem issues! Many of us also never had male role models who were open about their emotions. The fact that our culture looks upon asking for help or sharing feelings as not being masculine doesn't help either.

In early June I went to a rugby game with some of my friends. After the game I had to find a train to take me home from the stadium. Surprisingly one of the guys who came offered to drive me home. That was a pretty big deal since I lived about forty-five minutes away. On the way home we talked about cars, music, and movies (guy stuff). By the time I got to the house we had become pretty good friends.

Every few weeks I will meet him at a local McDonalds. It just gives a chance to relax and catch up with what is happening with each other. I am currently involved in the youth group at his church, and he teaches the young adults. So we talk a lot about what we think God is doing in our ministries. We both enjoy and reading books and will discuss things we are learning from them. And of course there were conversations about we wanted to do in the future. Although the book conversations were pushing it, we did not make any of the laws in our man code.

Then one Saturday night that all changed. I honestly don't know why I did it. Maybe it was the cappucinno that I held in my hand. Maybe it was the table that we were sitting at. Maybe it was the smell of french fries in the air. Whatever the reason, I began to talk with him about my low self esteem, and how it affected the way I interacted with people. Suddenly I became very nervous. I had committed the unpardonable sin and talked my feelings!

To my utter amazement my friend told me he felt also had a hard time interacting with people sometimes. Instead of laughing and making fun of me, he confessed to feeling the same way! Even more amazing was the fact that I felt great after telling him about my shyness. We actually had a long conversation about how to become more confident when meeting people we don't know. And at no time during that long conversation about my feelings did God strike us with lightning!

In the following weeks we continued to slowly talk about our emotional struggles or burdens we are dealing with. And in doing so found there is something very therapeutic about spilling your guts all over a table at McDonalds. Simply facing emotional pain in our hearts is not enough. We must also deal with that emotional pain. And one of the best ways to do that is discuss those struggles with a trusted friend. Now that I realize the first man rule is flawed I am beginning to wonder if the other ones are as well. Maybe this means all men should go out and buy scented candles! Well, let's not get carried away.

Sacrificing for a Social Life

Last April I moved to the city of Melton. I am able to rent a very nice three bedroom house here. It has a large study where I read, and write articles for my blog. It has a large backyard that is greatly enjoyed by my cat aussie. It is in a quiet rural area that is not too close to the city. And the rent on this house is very low. I am absolutely thrilled with the house itself. But I would move tomorrow if I had the opportunity!

The problem is not the house that I live in, but the place where I live. Don’t get me wrong Melton is a beautiful place to live. But it is far away from the larger growing communities of Melbourne. It is also far away from the places I am currently ministering. This means I spend a lot of time driving (It takes about forty minutes to get to anywhere). It also means I have to spend a lot of money on fuel for my car.

Because I live so far away there is a temptation to only leave Melton when I absolutely have to. After all, why drive for an hour or an hour and half just so I can drink coffee and talk? Instead I could just stay home and save a lot of money on gas. But the money that I save will not fill the longing for acceptance in my heart.

God created us to be relational beings. There is a part of us that can only be filled by contact with other people. That is why before the fall of man God looked upon Adam’s being alone and saw it as something that was not good. To live in a state of isolation is to live a life that is unnatural. But many of us have a social life that is virtually non existent. There are many reasons for this. But probably one of the greatest is that having a strong social life (connecting with lots of friends) takes sacrifice.

Connecting with friends in true community during the week does take sacrifice. It takes a sacrifice of time, energy, money, and many times our own plans. So we decide the price is just too high and promise to spend more time with friends in the future. The result of this is a culture of busy people who are desperately lonely. “George Gallup has said, ‘Americans are among the loneliest people in the world’ In the midst of busy lives, overcommitted schedules, and congested cities, we feel alone.”1

Lately I have only been driving far from Melton when I absolutely had to. That would be on Wednesdays, Sundays, and every other Thursday. I have been praying that God would give me opportunities to connect with other people. But then I realized that he wanted me to take the initiative of connecting with others. The best way to do that is move into a house closer to the city. I will not be able to do that until probably early 2009. So Monday morning I made out a plan that involves leaving Melton five times a week regularly instead of two to three. I am also in the process of working out a sixth opportunity.

I am the kind of person who likes to save money each month for future expenses. Now I will have to spend some of that future expense money on fuel. It also means I will spend a lot more time on the road. But those sacrifices are nothing when compared to the close relationships I will have.

1. Andy Stanley, Creating Community, pg.22, par.2, ln. 1

A Pastor and A Friend

Yesterday I said say goodbye to a dear friend. Phil Waters is the pastor of Grace Baptist Church my home church in Australia. And at 3:30 yesterday afternoon he left for a year long furlough in the United States. There was a huge crowd of people from different churches who met yesterday to see him off.

Phil Waters is a mentor to me along with dozens of other people in Melbourne. But more importantly he is a true friend to all of us. We meet a lot of people in our lives. And a small number of those people become our friends. But then there will be a few people who can be viewed as best friends.

Those are the friends who will stand by your side when everyone else has left. That person will show genuine interest in how you are doing. They will always be there for advice and counsel. And that friend can be trusted with things that you would not tell anyone else.

Pastor Phil is more than just my pastor, he is my friend. For almost three months he worked to get a permanent residency visa for me. He personally answered dozens of questions that I had about the visa situation. When my visa application was declined he personally called me in America to share the news. He told me at least six times during that conversation that the visa rejection was not my fault.

When I came through customs at Melbourne International Airport on January 8 he was there to meet me. In the first months of ministry he would always ask me how I was doing. When I said fine, he would look me dead in the eyes and ask if I was sure. At the darkest moment of my ministry he was there with me giving comfort and wisdom. When I was struggling with issues on the field I shared them with him over a cup of coffee.

On the day of Australia’s Grand Final (Australian Super Bowl) I watched it at his house. I have had Sunday afternoon dinner at this house a number of times. He always goes out of his way to encourage me when I see him. And makes sure I know that he loves me. The amazing thing is that I am not the only person he has this kind of relationship with. He is a true friend to countless people in the area churches.

As I look at Pastor Phil I see the kind of man I would like to become. He has a ministry that is not based upon flashy gimmicks or the latest church growth philosophy. Instead it is build upon the close relationships he has with others. The night I came to Australia I greeted him as “Pastor Waters”. He responded, “John it is just Phil here.” In the last nine months he has gone from being Pastor Waters spiritual leader, to Phil good friend.

A Reason to Get Up at 5:30

I am not a morning person. That’s why I was not too excited about getting out of bed when my alarm clock went off at 5:30 this morning. There are a few things that will get me out of bed before 6:00 am. Those things are Christmas, an important meeting, and coffee at Strudels. Strudels is a coffee shop about thirty minutes from my house. And on Thursday mornings I go there for a cup of coffee. But it is not the coffee that gets me out of bed.

What drives me to get up at 5:30 is the fellowship that I have while drinking that coffee. Two or three Thursdays a month I will meet a group of pastors at Strudels. We laugh, tell stories, share prayer requests, and even vent at times! But more than anything else it is just a time when we can encourage one another.

There was a time here on the field of Australia when I was struggling. Complicated issues had come up and I was faced with some very hard decisions. The fact that I did not have experience dealing with the kind of situations I was facing didn’t make things any easier. It was at that confusing time in my ministry when those times of fellowship became precious to me. The three pastors who I meet with have more than forty years of experience between them. And they were a great source of wisdom and guidance for me in a time when I didn’t know what to do.

I have come to Strudels on a Thursday morning struggling with discouragement over what was or wasn’t happening in ministry. But I was always filled with energy and enthusiasm on the way home. Why is that? I firmly believe that God created us to be relational creatures who would crave close relationships. Therefore that longing for happiness in our hearts can be filled through true community (friendship).

That community is something we should all seek after. A community where you can voice frustrations without wondering whether or not you will get in trouble. A community where you can share personal struggles without fear of judgment. A community where you will be accepted even though you aren’t perfect. A community where you can get help in a time of need.

The sad truth is there are very few communities like that today. But those close friendships can be developed over time. Of course there is a good chance of getting hurt, betrayed, or used in those kinds of relationships. But true community is one of the few things that can fill our longings for happiness much better than the worlds “junk food”.

That is why I am trying to develop other communities like the one at Strudels on Thursdays. Yes I will probably get more than a few emotional scars. But at the same time I will be able to feast upon the satisfaction that comes from true Christian community. And that is definitely something worth getting up at 5:30 for.

Feasting on Jelly Beans

For most of us there are certain foods that we have a weakness for. In my case that food is jelly beans. They have been a favorite of mine since I was a child. If I could eat anything that I wanted jelly beans would make up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Obviously I don’t eat them three times a day. For one thing it would make me sick, but more importantly food like jelly beans will not truly satisfy my hunger.

Our body needs nutritious food that includes proteins, fats, carbohydrates, and vitamins. Sugar from junk food may give us lots of energy for a short amount of time. But soon we will crash from our sugar high and become even hungrier than before. The point is it takes more than sugar to satisfy our bodies.

In our physical body is a hunger that can only be filled with food that is good for us. Filling that hunger with jelly beans will be pointless. We also have a spiritual hunger in our hearts, a hunger for happiness. And it can only be satisfied with healthy spiritual food. This is the kind of food that only comes from a close relationship with God.

But most of us try to fill that desire for happiness with “spiritual jelly beans”. This can be things like money, romantic relationships, success at work, and material possessions. But these “jelly beans” don’t satisfy our hunger either. They may give us a momentary feeling of happiness, but that feeling will quickly pass like a physical sugar high.

Scripture tells us the story of man who feasted on spiritual jelly beans. He had everything the world could possibly offer. But yet in the end all he could say was, “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity (Ecclesiastes 1:2).” In Ecclesiastes we see King Solomon’s search for significance (happiness) in life. He was on of the most powerful, if not the most powerful king in the history of Israel. But his power, riches, and fame could not satisfy the longing in his heart.

Yet while Solomon feasted on spiritual junk food God offered to him the one thing that could fulfill his hunger. And the same thing is offered to us today. The longing for happiness in our hearts was created by God himself, and can only be filled by a relationship of dependence upon him. In other words we come to God, and ask him to fulfill our spiritual hunger. When we do he will give to us a feast of spiritual truth that bring a joy and peace that rises above circumstances. Physical and spiritual jelly beans are not bad things necessarily. But they are meant to be a desert that finishes a meal, not the meal.