Romance Junkies

I thank God for the peace that I have in my heart as I write this entry. Over the last eight months I have been able to develop close relationships with Believers in many local churches. I am currently ministering in at least two of those churches on a weekly basis. And in the coming months I plan to become actively involved in a Bible College here. Though there are some bad days I am truly satisfied with what God has given me in Australia.

But that was not always the case. In 1999 I graduated from College with a pastoral degree, and a heart full of dreams. I was seriously dating a young woman, and had a clear understanding of what God wanted me to do in life. Two months after graduation I was single, and had absolutely no idea what God’s will could be. My craving for acceptance became very strong during those months. And of course it was kind hard to feel good about myself while in that situation. So I turned to something that countless people use to fill their acceptance cravings. I began to look for a girlfriend.

Dating relationships are very high on the list of things used to meet acceptance cravings. This is because the emotional highs of the relationship satisfy our desire to belong. Unfortunately those emotional highs don’t last forever. Especially if both people in the relationship are just using it to feed their own cravings. Sadly I had to learn that lesson the hard way.

My desire for acceptance became very strong in the fall of 1999. I just needed a reason to believe in myself. One day a friend told me that a young woman at the college was interested in going out on a date with me. I was working at the college while seeking God’s direction so it wasn’t hard to start spending time with her. Within a few weeks of meeting we went out on our first date.

The first date was a wonderful time for both of us. We shared stories, laughed, and learned a lot about each other. I probably could have floated home that night instead of driving in a car. The emotion of that first date satisfied my acceptance cravings for days. I could not have been any happier.

Almost one year later I ended our relationship. In honesty I had been miserable in the relationship for the last four months. The relationship that I hoped would forever satisfy my acceptance cravings made me worse instead of better! Since that time I have found that Christ’s love is the one thing that can truly fill our desire to belong. More importantly I learned that dating relationships can not fill our craving for acceptance. They may fill it for a month or two, but in time the emotional love will fade.

That fact does not keep countless singles from desperately seeking their next boyfriend or girlfriend. And with each heart wrenching break up they begin their search again. Instead of allowing God to truly satisfy the cry of their hearts, they seek to fill it with romance. Having tried to do just that, I can honestly say that romance is a poor alternative to the unconditional love of Christ.