The Sin of Embarrassment

This morning I read something that made me think about failure. While that is not a very positive subject that people enjoy thinking about I am glad that I did. Because it made me realise how many of us turn mistakes or failure into something much more serious than it really is. The statement that made me start viewing embarrassing mistakes differently was, “at the end of our lives, we'll regret opportunities missed a lot more than mistakes made.”1

The article continues to show proof from two sociologists. They did a study on regret and how it changes over time. According to the study over short term we tend to regret our actions. These are things such as mistakes, failures, or anything else that will embarrass us. But years later we regret inaction. This would be avoiding a hard or scary situation because we were afraid of failure. These statements are backed up by the results of their study. Over the course of an average week regrets for actions outnumber regrets for inaction 53 percent to 47 percent. But when people look at their life as a whole, inaction regrets outnumber action regrets 84 percent to 16 percent!2

Nobody enjoys failing or making themselves look foolish. But it seems as if making a mistake has sort of become an unpardonable sin that must be avoided at all costs. Maybe we fear failure a little too much. Because the regret of failure, though painful at the time, will only last for a little while. This doesn't mean we should go around doing things with little or no preparation. It does mean we should be willing to fail.

Why do we fear failure or making a mistake so much? It is probably because of the embarrassment that comes when we do those things. Last Sunday I was running the power point for a church that was having it's organisational service. People from Churches all around came for this special occasion. About ten minutes before the service the pastor began working with the laptop and I jumped up to help him. About that time I tripped on a chair and came very close to doing a face plant on the floor! The noise from the people let me know that everyone had seen my lack of coordination. So I did what just about every man does in the situation and acted like nothing happened!

After the service was over I moved very slowly past the chairs and looked where I was stepping to keep from tripping again. It is funny how small embarrassing experiences have such an impact on us. But those same experiences can be used to help us learn important lessons. They can make us strong, wise, mature Believers. Yes the lessons can sometimes be painful to learn. But in the long run they help us immensely.

Interestingly I read from another book this morning an anonymous poem that goes perfectly with the article. “There was a very cautious man, who never laughed or cried. He never risked, he never lost, he never won or tried. And when he one day passed away, his insurance was denied, for since he never really lived, the claimed he never died.3” Failure is something painful. But the pain of a foolish mistake will be nothing compared to the regret of a life spent avoiding risks.



1Catalyst, Courageous in Calling, pg. 25, “Chase the Lion” par.1
2Catalyst, Courageous in Calling, pg. 25, “Chase the Lion” par.2
3Peter Irvine, Win In Business, pg.107, par.3,ln.3