Learned Immaturity

Suffering is a normal part of the Christian life. No matter how much we hate to admit it those who follow God will suffer at some point. We are told clearly in Scripture that the Godly will suffer.1 Christ himself realized that suffering was a necessary part of his ministry on the earth. That was why he willingly went to Jersusalem even though Jesus knew the terrible suffering that he would face there.2

Every Christian knows that they are in a spiritual war and will be attacked by Satan3 But when that time of suffering comes many of us respond with shock and confusion. We react much like Peter who could not fathom that God's plan could possibly include suffering. He along with the other disciples believed that Jesus would simply walk into Jerusalem and overthrow the Roman Government while on the earth. This is why his first response to Christ's message of his death was to reprimand him.4

We don't go as far as to reprimand God when we suffer. But we respond to suffering in other very immature ways. No child gets everything that he or she wants. And when they do not receive what they want most young people respond in an immature fashion. This could be throwing a temper tantrum, becoming bitter, not talking to our parents, and many other things. Amazingly these immature responses many times resurface in the lives of adults during suffering.

As a child I would always have a “pity party” when things didn't go my way. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a pity party is, basically it consists of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. My pity parties were usually characterised by putting myself down (“I am fat”, “I am stupid”, “I am ugly) and isolating myself from others. The goal of a pity party is to make people feel sorry for me. This resulted in people spending time with me and giving me compliments until my bruised ego had healed.

Within all of us is a learned (habitual) immature response to suffering. This response many times begins without our even knowing it. Looking back I am ashamed that self pity was my response to suffering. Yet I still find myself leaning toward the pity party response whenever times get hard. This is because a part of me (sin nature) wants to isolate myself and overdose on television when experiencing suffering.

We can not face suffering on our own power. Facing painful situations without the help of God will only start the cycle of our immature response. But with the Lord's help we can begin a new cycle. A cycle that involves responding to suffering in a Biblical way as we obey God. Starting a new cycle will not be easy since our old immature response is such a huge part of our lives. Many times that new response begins with one simple act.

By God's grace I am continuing to develop a more mature response to suffering. When I come under attack from Satan I immediately leave the house. From there I will go somewhere and read a christian book, or pray about the situation. This more mature response was used by God to encourage me in a time of loneliness last Thursday (Facebook and Homesickness).

We all have forms of learned immaturity. And if we are not careful those immature responses will be copied by those who close to us. So with the Lords help we must act like adults, even when it hurts.

1II Timothy 3:12
2Matthew 16:21
3Ephesians 6:12
4Matthew 16:22